A Bleached Cinderella Story
by Penned.In.Ink
Summary: Exactly what it sounds like..What happens when Rukia is supposed to get married? Poor Ichigo & Rukia: Wars, paparazzi, masks and hollows sure can make things hard when you're trying to figure who the heck your prince charming is. Ichiruki.T for swearin
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Bleach.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Bleached Cinderella Story

"Ichigo. I need to talk to you." Rukia seemed a bit off that day. Of course, she had been able to fool everyone at school with her fake laughs and smiles of teeth clenched together. She even fooled Inoue, Ishida, and Chad, who could usually tell if something was wrong. She could lie to everyone. Except one person.

"I'm the one who should be saying that, midget." Ichigo continued quickly jumping across rooftops with Rukia on his back. There was a pause where a retort from Rukia should have been. "Oi, midget!! What the hell is wrong with you?" Silence. Ichigo stopped on the roof of his home. "OI, MIDGET!! I ASKED WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!" Another pause, but shorter this time.

Rukia looked down, trying to avoid his eyes that she knew could see through her every act she put on for the world. She had been thinking about how she was going to tell Ichigo the entire day, and she made up her mind to just spit it out. "I—I'm gnagtmreid," she mumbled. She stood there hoping that she wouldn't have to repeat herself. But luck was simply not on her side.

"What? It's calling inunciating, midget! I didn't hear any of that!" Ichigo was getting irritated and his frown got deeper. (Not that it really lightens up or anything, but still.)

Rukia huffed and looked up at him. She should have been angry, but instead, she just looked stressed out. The always calm and collected Kuchiki Rukia looked completely frustrated, and this time, it wasn't because of Ichigo. (Well, not entirely, anyway.)

"What the hell, Rukia? I called you a midget like 5 times already!! Are you gonna take that?!"

"Yes, Ichigo I am because I might not be _able _to take much more of it. I mean…I will be prevented from doing so." Ichigo looked totally confused. "I said before…that…I'm going to get married, Ichigo."

If Ichigo were drinking something he would have spit his drink all over someone, most likely Rukia. "WHAT?"

"Idiot, you didn't even stop to think that I might not even be serious."

"I know you're being serious, pipsqueak. All day you were acting weird…Weirder than normal, anyway." Rukia even let him get away with pipsqueak. Wow, this was bad. He snapped back to the conversation. He took a deep breath, and Rukia thought that maybe he'd be totally okay with it and say something like "Have a nice life. See ya!" and go back inside his house. But he didn't. "WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED??!! NO-WAIT!! WHO ARE YOU MARRYING?? IS HE A JERK THAT'S MAKING YOU DO THIS? 'CAUSE IF HE IS—"

"YOU IDIOT, SHUT UP!!" Now there was the regular Rukia. "I'm getting married in one week and 2 days. And I don't know who I'm getting married to." Before Ichigo could ask questions, she continued. "To decide who I'm going to marry, the Kuchiki elders and Nii-sama are holding a social event where I can meet possible suitors tomorrow night. Although they probably don't like it, every male shinigami from Seireitei is required to attend. It also means I have to weed through a bunch of shinigami who can't fight to save their lives." She laughed bitterly. "Besides, I know they're hoping that I pick another noble or at the very least someone powerful."

Fortunately for Rukia, Ichigo found some way to stop yelling. "And you wanna do this thing?" Ichigo looked at the ground. If someone were to see them, there would be a tall orange haired shinigami looking at his toes facing a short, black haired shinigami looking at her toes also.

"I don't have a choice—the Kuchiki elders and Nii-sama have decided—"

"That's not what I asked." Ichigo and Rukia looked up at each other, pained expressions on their faces. "I want to know if you wanna do this." Ichigo looked away at the sunset, trying to find a way not to look at her sad face.

"It doesn't matter."

Ichigo snapped his head back to look at her, now angry. "Well FINE!!" Rukia was taken aback. "IF IT DOESN'T MATTER TO YOU THAT YOU'RE THROWING THIS ALL AWAY, FINE!!" Ichigo shunpo-ed away from her, leaving Rukia alone on the rooftop.

"Idiot, I didn't even get to tell you that I'm leaving tonight."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Why the hell does she wanna leave all this behind?! I've known her for four years and she decides NOW to go get married?! What the hell is she think—_

Ichigo somehow ended up at Urahara Kisuke's shop. _Maybe he put some kind of weird science stuff on the shop to make people go there._

"Aahhh it's Ichigo-san!" Urahara's creepy voice never ceased to…well, creep him out. Ichigo walked in, ignoring him.

"I'm gonna use that underground training room." As oblivious as Urahara could seem, he could tell that something was wrong with Ichigo. (He didn't punch Urahara in the face today.)

Urahara could hear (and feel) loud crashes from his training room. When he went down, he saw that Ichigo went bankai and proceeded to attack anything and everything he saw. "My, my someone has had a rough day, hmm Kurosaki?"

"Shut up!" Ichigo threw another attack at the wall.

"I'm guessing this has something to do with Ms. Kuchiki's marriage?"

Ichigo stopped abruptly and turned around. "How do you know about that?"

"Oooohhhhh Ichigo-kun! Everyone in and out of Seireitei knows about it!" Urahara laughed lightly, further irritating Ichigo. "In the Kuchiki family, whenever the elders decide that one of them should be married off, usually to make alliances, although not always, they hold a formal gathering to find a suitable husband or wife!" During his explanation, Urahara found the time to take out a giant lollipop and was now licking it.

"What…kind of formal gathering, exactly?"

"Aaahhh Ichigo-kun!! It's a ball, of course!" Ichigo inwardly cringed at the word "ball". There'd probably be too many stuck-up nobles there. *cough cough Byakuya*

Ichigo's hand clenched Zangetsu tightly.

"You should go, Ichigo-kun!"

"What?"

"It's perfect for you to go get her to fall in LOOOOOOOOVE with you!" Urahara made dramatic, fairy-like motions and pranced around Ichigo. He received punch in the face for his efforts, but stood right back up as if nothing had happened. "I believe that the identities of everyone there is kept a secret. It's not a rule, really, but more of a tradition. It's perfect for you!" Urahara gave a wide smile.

Ichigo eyed the old sandals-and-hat suspiciously. "And what the hell is that supposed to mean? Even you know I'm not good at hiding my reiatsu."

"I can help you with that." A black cat jumped to the ground next to Urahara.

"Aaaahhh Yoruichi-san! You're back!" Urahara scooped her up into a hug. She just rolled her eyes.

"Put me down, Kisuke."

"Ooohhh you're so cold, Yoruichi-san! Oh you know what, maybe you'd be less cold if you go back to your regular form and—" Urahara was once again rewarded with a punch to the face. The pervert.

"So, Yoruichi, you wanna help me or what?"

"Here." Yoruichi tossed a cape to Ichigo. "It'll hide your reiatsu while you wear it."

"Um, thanks Yoruichi-san, but how did you know I'd need this?" Ichigo looked up at her after inspecting the cape, making sure it wasn't, well, hideous.

When he looked up, there was a naked Yoruichi standing on top of Urahara, who had his face in the dirt. "Intuition," she said.

"AHHHHHHHHHH PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!!" Ichigo dramatically fell over, covering his eyes.

Yoruichi laughed. "It never gets old, no matter how many times I do it. You wanna hand me my clothes?"

"WHA—NO OF COURSE NO—"

"I was kidding Ichigo, I'm already getting dressed….Ahh so innocent."

"Shut up."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rukia sat down in her room, back home in the Kuchiki Manor….away from that self-centered bastard Ichigo. She balled her hands into fists as she thought of him. "Stupid jerk. Doesn't even care what the—Nii-sama!"

"Rukia." She got up and bowed to him. "I trust you are prepared for tonight?"

"Yes, Nii-sama."

"I'll have the maids come and help you get ready."

"Thank you, Nii-sama."

Despite his expressions—or lack of them, really—Kuchiki Byakuya was capable not only of emotions, but also of understanding the emotions of others. And his sister's lack of expression right now was telling him that she was disappointed, specifically because of a certain arrogant orange-haired shinigami substitute. Oh, how he wished he were strong enough to pound that human's head into the dirt.

Not that he wasn't strong enough, but still—never mind.

After all, he _did_ have good reason to resent that brat. He was the one that made his sister fall in love with him (*spasm spasm*) and was now causing Rukia unhappiness.

This was just…ugh.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you sure about this?"

"Of course, of course, Ichigo-san!"

Ichigo was wearing mask, had dyed his hair black, and was wearing "formal attire". (Never thought we'd see the day, huh?)

He had put up with Urahara and Yoruichi's _preparations_. *cringe*

All for Rukia. "That bitch," he thought. "She'd better appreciate this." He threw on Yoruichi's cape.

"And don't forget, Ichigo." Yoruichi looked seriously at Ichigo. "You have to get back to the senkai gate by midnight. I can't keep a kidou spell on the guards for too long, and the next shifts start around that time. We can't have anyone noticing."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it Yoruichi-san. I have quick shunpo, remember?"

"But still, Ichigo. Don't cut it close."

"Yeah, yeah sure." Yoruichi and Ichigo (although no one would be able to tell it was him) leapt into the gate.

And so it began.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, so I'm having a huuuuuuuuuuuge writers block with my other story and i came up with this idea. It was actually going to be a oneshot, but then it came out to be like 6000 words and i'm' not even done yet, so i'm just gonna post this first part since i have updated the other story in a looooong time. Anyway I hope you enjoy it!


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry it took me so long to actually upload..hehe :)

Well, here's Chapter 2! Enjoy..FYI: I don't own Bleach, in case no one noticed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And so it began.

Oh, the torture. Rukia bowed to yet another of those stuck up, self centered, rich nobles. "Thank you for coming."

A black cape suddenly caught her eye in the back of the room. (Ichigo never thought someone would ever notice him because of his clothes—usually it was his hair.)

Rukia seized the opportunity to get away, and Ichigo saw her walking toward him. "What the—"

"Oh, thank you for coming." One of those stuck ups had approached Rukia. The guy looked stupid with that stupid mask. Come to think of it, everyone there looked stupid with those masks. _He_ looked stupid with his mask. Urahara told him earlier that he'd be the only one there with one of those hideous things. That bastard.

Ichigo saw Rukia smile (fake, of course) and walk away, trying to dodge overly friendly shinigami and avoid their gazes. She walked quickly, occasionally tossing a "Thank you for coming" over her shoulder as shinigami made way for her. She finally made it to Ichigo.

"Thank you for coming."

"Umm, thanks for inviting me," he mumbled.

"You seem very familiar. Have we met before? Are you in squad thirteen, by any chance?"

"Ummm, uhh, no I don't think so." Ichigo coughed. _Pleasedon'trecognizemepleasedon'trecognizemeIlooksofreakin'stupid._

People were staring at them. At _him_, the one person Kuchiki Rukia had given extra attention to the entire night.

The music (the boring kind, in Ichigo's opinion) became louder. Ichigo gulped. _Please, Rukia don't say it—_

"Dance with me." Rukia looked over her shoulder momentarily at a shinigami making his way toward her (for the fourth time that night—the stalker). "I'm _not_ dancing with that creep," she thought.

"But this music is boring!" It slipped out before Ichigo could restrain himself. _Oh shit. Shitshitshit._

To his surprise, Rukia…smiled? She leaned up on her tiptoes and whispered, "I _know_ that the music is boring and _no,_ I don't want to dance, but the elders won't be happy with me if I don't dance with someone soon. And these other bastards here are even less decent than you, so do as I say. I _was_ hoping that idiot would come tonight, but…" Rukia's eyes were downcast for a second. "Just dance with me okay?" _Why did I tell him that? Now he might tell the elders and nii-sama what I said about them! NOT good behavior, Rukia._

Ichigo whispered back to her. "Fine." He gulped and hoped he could remember what Yoruichi and Urahara had taught him.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"_No, Ichigo, better posture! Stand straight! Put your arm—"_

"_Like this! And move your feet—"_

"_There we go! Come on now, move a little—"_

"_More fluidly!"_

_Yoruichi danced with Ichigo while Urahara admired their handiwork. "Not bad, Ichigo-kun! You might have some class after all!"_

_----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_

"Are you a noble?"

"No," Ichigo grumbled. "Why do you wanna know?" He dreaded hearing that she would only consider marrying one.

"You dance like you've had the instruction of one." Ichigo smiled. (He couldn't help himself.)

"Thanks." The song finally ended, and Ichigo felt very uncomfortable. He leaned down to her (yes, aaaaaall the way down) and whispered, "I'm sorry, but…ummm I don't really like 'social gatherings' so if you don't mind, I'm gonna go somewhere else now." He was starting to wonder why he came here anyway…

Ichigo hid the sadness in his voice well. After all, he really shouldn't interfere. Rukia was supposed to get married, right? It wasn't any of his business. Come to think of it, why the hell did he even come here in the first place? _Blame Urahara._ _He set me up to come to this boring thing._

"Can you take me with you?" Rukia looked up at the mysterious person pleadingly. "I really can't take much more of this." She looked around, trying to convey that she was completely frustrated with talking to those idiots.

"What?" Ichigo failed to hide the surprise in that one word.

"Please, can I go with you? I can make it look like I'm being friendly with someone here, and I won't have to talk to any more of the idiots here. Please! I even know somewhere we can go without being caught…for a short time, anyway."

To her relief, he nodded.

"Follow me." She grabbed his hand (and couldn't help but think there was something oddly familiar about it) and led him away from the crowds. "Can you get up on the roof?"

"Of course." Ichigo and Rukia jumped up onto the roof of the Kuchiki manor. (They really seem to like roofs, huh?) They sat down next to each other and looked at the sky, once again trying to avoid the other's gaze. In the moonlight, the chain on Ichigo's zanpukutou shone for a second.

"You know, I don't know why I told you that I'm irritated with everyone there. For all I know, you could go and tell the Kuchiki elders what I said and—"

"But you know I wouldn't do that."

"I guess so…It's weird, actually." She laughed. Ichigo smirked.

"So…did you meet anyone you wanna marry?" Ichigo asked bluntly, waiting for the dreaded response, that, yes indeed, she had found her perfect groom and wanted to shunpo-off into the sunset with him after a hollow.

"No…" Ichigo and Rukia faced each other. "All the guys there were jerks."

"Wow, thanks." They got closer.

"And the ones I knew already are just my friends…"

"Yeah…" They leaned in.

"This whole thing is stupid anyway." Rukia's voice got quieter.

"Yeah." Ichigo was quiet as well.

They leaned toward each other…

And Yoruichi's reiatsu suddenly surged.

_Shit._

"I have to go."

"Wait, what? Where are you going?" Rukia looked at him, glaring, but curious.

"I—just…Bye." With those last few lame words, Ichigo shunpo-ed away as quickly as he could, leaving a frustrated Rukia on a roof.

Again.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry it took me awhile to get around to uploading, but here it is! Enjoy, read, review, all that.

Oh, and I still don't own Bleach (if anyone wanted to rub it in my face *sniff, tear*)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ichigo!"

"Sorry Yoruichi-san!"

"Save it! Get to the real world fast! I can't hold this kidou much longer!"

Ichigo jumped into the gate, followed by Yoruichi.

They made it. Didn't get caught.

Not yet, anyway.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rukia looked down at her feet, angry and disappointed. "That jerk! What kind of goodbye was that?!" She kicked the roof. _Wait a second, were we about to kiss? _A pause in her thoughts. _No, no, no. That's ridiculous! I mean, I couldn't have been—_

"Wait a second!" _The chain on his zanpakutou! I can track him down! _Rukia grinned triumphantly.

"Rukia."

"Nii-sama!" She looked down at Byakuya on the ground.

"What are you doing, Rukia? There are people _inside_ that are looking for you."

"Yes, nii-sama. My apologies." Rukia shunpo-ed down from the roof and went back to greet guests.

If Rukia knew that her nii-sama saw the whole thing, she'd be _very_ uneasy.

If she knew that he also knew who the stranger was, she would have begged him to tell her who it was.

"_I'm going to find whoever that was,"_ Rukia thought for the rest of the night.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I told you not to cut it close!"

"Sorry, okay? I was…busy!"

"Dammit, Ichigo, I happy for ya that you made out with Kuchiki, but geez be a little considerate at least!"

"I didn't do anything like that! I swear!"

"You sure about that?" Yoruichi nagged him…mocked him, more like it.

"Yes I'm sure!"

"You almost did, then you had to leave, hmm? You must be disappointed!"

"I'm not disappointed!"

"Yes, you are, Ichigo!"

"I am _not!"_

"You didn't deny that you almost kissed her." Yoruichi laughed at him and hurried on to the other end of the senkai gate.

Ichigo was very temped to lift a certain finger up at her back.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Rukia was having trouble restraining herself from doing the same thing when one of those stupid stuck-ups asked her why she was short.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ichigo looked pleadingly at Yoruichi.

"Tell me tell me tell me!" Urahara dramatically begged to know what happened. Specifically, how _lucky_ Ichigo had been.

Ichigo inwardly prayed, hoped, whatever to whoever was out there that Yoruichi wouldn't say—

"Ichigo and Rukia almost kissed but he had to leave."

"ICHIGO-KUN!! You should have at least kissed h—"

"Shut up, lollipop! I don't even like her like that!" Ichigo's cheecks were tinted pink. Now that mask didn't seem so hideous after all…too bad he already took it off.

Urahara and Yoruichi laughed at him. (Yoruichi less dramatically, of course, but it was still very irritating and humiliating for him.)

Ichigo went home without saying goodbye to either of them. He made sure to slam the door extra hard behind him as he stomped away.

Ichigo laid in his bed that night. His thoughts went along the lines of, "What the fuck happened?" and "Why the hell did I go to that thing anyway?" and "What the fuck is WRONG me?!" He kicked the closet. The closet that Rukia lived in. The one she would have opened and yelled at him from if she were there. Then one they would have started bickering in front of and—

Wait, was he _reminiscing?!?_ No way. Not about Rukia.

Besides, she actually wanted someone to show up right?

_I _was_ hoping that idiot would come tonight, but…" Rukia's eyes were downcast for a second. "Just dance with me okay?"_

"She already wants someone," Ichigo thought. "Forget about it. No, wait. I don't even care! Right. Idon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon't—"

_Oh fuck. Why the hell do I freakin' CARE?!_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_

The next morning, Rukia looked at the front page of the Shinigami Women's Association's "publication" (more like a gossip magazine) in absolute horror.

Why, you may ask?

On the front page was a picture of her and the strange guy that left her on the roof.

The Headlines:

KUCHIKI RUKIA FINDS A HUSBAND? WHO IS HE? SPECULATIONS INSIDE!

She didn't want to see, but she opened the magazine, dreading what was inside…

Oh, god no.

KUROTSUCHI MAYURI TELLS ALL!

"Kurotsuchi Mayuri, captain of the 12th division and president of the Technological Research Bureau, reported yesterday that Ms. (Mrs?) Kuchiki (?) Rukia came to him seeking information about zanpakutou's to track someone down. As we all know, the other day, Miss Rukia was seen on the _roof_ of the Kuchiki mansion with a mysterious masked (duh) stranger. The question is, are the incidents related? According to Kurotsuchi taijou, the answer is yes—"

Rukia threw the disgusting _publication_ across the room. "Fuckin' Mayuri went and told the fuckin' Shinigami Women's Association and now I'm screwed—Nii-sama!"

For the second time in two days, her brother caught her at awkward moments—specifically when she was using less than decent language. Yup, her life sucked.

"There are members of the Shinigami Women's Association outside requesting an audience with you."

"Uhh..umm…Could you please give them my apologies, Nii-sama? I am not feeling well enough to speak with them."

Byakuya didn't question his sister's decision. Yes, even he saw the headlines. "I will do so." He left the room.

_The nerve of them! After printing that about me they want an _INTERVIEW_?!?!_

She sat down in defeat. She looked around dejectedly, and once again, she had an almost heart attack when she saw a page of the damn magazine.

POSSIBLE SUITORS:

CANDIDATE NUMBER ONE: KUROSAKI ICHIGO

Oh, god no. She stalked over to the thing, picked it up, crumpled it, threw it back down on the floor, and proceeded to stomp on it with her foot, all the while cursing under her breath.

OTHER POSSIBLE SUITORS:

ABARAI RENJI (It has been rumored that the two have known each other for quite some time…)

MADARAME IKKAKU

That was it. Enough of seeing this stupid thing. Rukia put her palm outwards.

"Hadou Number 33, Soukatsui!" An explosion.

Yup, Kuchiki Rukia used kidou inside the Kuchiki mansion.

Fortunately, there wasn't anything of much importance in the room she was in.

Unfortunately…

She was inside a home.

People crowded around.

And some of those people included members of the Shinigami Women's Association.

Wow, this was really going to be great. Just great.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everybody! So thanks for all the reviews--i looove hearing everyone's comments!! :) Sorry this is kind of a short-ish chapter, I wasn't sure how else to divide up the chapters and stuff. Bleh life is hectic, etc. So if I forget to upload pleease don't hate me! *puppy dog eyes* :)

Thankyouthankyouthankyou for reading!

Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou with your favorite food on top for reviewing!! *wink wink* *hint hint nudge nudge*

Disclaimer stuff: I own Bleach. Just not the kick-butt TV show. You know, the kind that can ruin black clothes like shinigami uniforms and my favorite pants and--

Never mind.

Bibi and ENJOY (Read: REVIEW PLEASE!) :)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Miss Rukia! Are there any leads on who your lover is?" Shinigami crowded around Rukia.

"Kuchiki-san! Please answer some questions for us!"

"New reports say that Kuchiki Rukia may be suffering from psychological disorders. Shortly after her famous encounter with a complete stranger at the Kuchiki Mansion, she set off a kidou explosion inside her home…"

Rukia may have looked calm on the outside (as a true Kuchiki), but on the inside, she was freezing them all over with Sode No Shirayuki.

Lucky for her, Byakuya came to her rescue. He walked in, followed by guards. They quickly came in, and Rukia waited for her brother to criticize her destruction of the Kuchiki mansion.

But he didn't, to her surprise.

After the guards used binding spells on the crowd of shinigami, they were quickly hauled off the Kuchiki grounds.

"Clean this up," Byakuya instructed a team of workers as he nodded to the hole in the wall created by Rukia. He left.

Leaving Rukia in an awkward situation. Again.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Ichigo was slashing away at hollows. That bitch Yoruichi made him go look for Hollows.

She had even made him go around fighting them after he left the ball.

…Not that he would've stayed any longer…

He slashed another Hollow in half with a little extra anger put into it. When he realized that was the last one, he regretted not having anything to spend his time doing. Then he realized that he'd have to report back to Urahara. And he realized that he hated Urahara's guts. And he realized that there was no getting away from the guy when he found himself once again in front of the shop.

"Good job Ichigo-san! You really rid the town of those Hollows! Although you could have done so a bit more quietly."

"Fuck off."

"Ichigo-san! Why so down?" Urahara's happy mood was really, really, _really_ starting to get on Ichigo's nerves.

Ichigo ignored him.

"Tell me about it! Please please please?" Urahara was licking a giant lollipop. Disgusting. "…Please please please please?" Now, Urahara was not only on his last nerve, he was jumping up and down on it.

"I SAID FUCK OFF, ASSHOLE!"

"Kurosaki-kun! That isn't like you! What's wrong?"

"NOTHING!!"

For once in his lifetime, Urahara shut up.

For a second, anyway.

"You should tell her."

"TELL HER WHAT? I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO TELL HER! WHY WOULD I HAVE ANYTHING TO TELL HER ANYWAY? I DON'T EVEN CARE IF RUKIA FREAKIN' LOVES ME OR NOT OR WHATEVER CRAP! I DON'T CARE! SEE? I DON'T! SO I DON'T HAVE TO TELL HER ANYTHING!" Ichigo panted after his outburst.

Urahara waved his finger in front of Ichigo's face. (Let's just assume that he got _really_ annoyed.)

"Ah ah ah Ichigo-san…"

Ichigo's soul cell phone went off. (Yup, he finally got one.)

"Soul Society wants me for backup?! What the hell?" He fumbled around with the phone. "Stupid assholes should learn to deal with Menos already… Open the gate, Urahara."

"Hmmm I don't know about that Kurosaki! After the way you just spoke to me—"

"OPEN THE DAMN GATE!!"

"Fine, fine."

Ichigo fumed all the way to Soul Society.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Attention Squad Thirteen! Calling for backup NOW! These are your lieutenants speaking! There is a large number of Menos in Sector 549837! Get over here now!"

_Wow, those lieutenants would have usually started bickering. This must be serious._ Rukia ran as fast as she could to where the rest of her squad was.

And when she got there, she was astounded.

Although no one was seriously injured yet, the number of Menos was incredible. There were groups of five or six menos in small areas for at least—well, she couldn't see far past the first few groups.

"Taichou! We have requested backup from the Substitute Shinigami Kurosaki Ichigo as you asked!"

Rukia's vein popped. _I really don't need to see him right now._

"Thank you, Kiyone, Sentaro."

"Hai!" The two lieutenants sped off to fight the Hollows.

_Shit, this is bad._ "First Dance, Sode No Shirayuki!"

Rukia fought with few injuries. As a small group of shinigami fell, she rushed over to them and tried to bring them to safety…they weren't dead. Not yet.

"Raikohou!"

She successfully destroyed a Menos. A couple shinigami looked at her in awe.

"Soukatsui!" Another went down, but there were at least another 40 left.

She panted. _How long can I keep this up? _Rukia looked around. _How long can our squad last?_

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

The Review button is right there... :) I hope everyone liked it. I'm having fun writing this. *random evil laugh*

Yeah okay I'm gonna go now.


	5. Chapter 5

Omg thank you guys so much for reviewing! :) I really love to read you guys' feedback.

Anyway, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Still not owning Bleach...sniff.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_How long can our squad last? _Rukia thought.

"GETSUGA TENSHOU!"

A blast of energy hit about 10 Menos behind her. "Ichigo!"

"Oi! Watch your back, would you? It'll save me some trouble!"

"Well watch your aim! You almost hit me with that thing!"

Ichigo and Rukia glared at each other for a second…and they grinned. Like idiots. *Cough cough in love*

"Help me out here!" Shinigami of the thirteenth squad were retreating quickly as Rukia prepared for another attack.

"Let's go, Ichigo!"

They leapt into the air.

"Tsukishiro!"

"Bankai!"

In about five seconds, Ichigo and Rukia destroyed about half of the remaining Hollows.

"Wow," Ukitake breathed.

"I had no idea Kuchiki-san was that good!" Kiyone said.

"She seems to fight better with Ichigo-kun around." Ukitake looked at the pair thoughtfully.

With a couple more attacks, the entire fleet was gone.

"Amazing!"

"Wow! They're so good!"

While the other shinigami looked at the pair in awe, Ichigo and Rukia were back to back in battle stances.

"Hey."

"Hey."

It was obvious that conversations between the two that did not include violence, verbal abuse, or attack words were somewhat awkward. They looked over their shoulders at each other and smiled—the genuine kind.

They stayed like that for a second…

And two pairs of eyes widened.

What Rukia saw: a Hollow ready to attack Ichigo.

What Ichigo saw: a Hollow ready to attack Rukia.

Stupid Hollows. Trying to use each other as distractions.

Ichigo and Rukia pushed each other aside so that they were right next to each other, facing opposite directions, where each of them had been looking moments before. (Come to think of it, the synch was kind of creepy between them.)

"HAKUREN!"

"GETSUGA TENSHOU!"

Ice and black energy eliminated the last two Hollows on the field.

They panted and lowered their swords and smiled relieved smiles. (But as we know, these don't last very long…)

"Learn to watch your back, midget!"

"Learn to watch your back, strawberry!" They yelled simultaneously.

Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia, the two shinigami that had managed to destroy an entire fleet of Hollows in less than 2 minutes, proceeded to contort their faces into various expressions, including sticking their tongues out at each other, completed with dramatic hand gestures.

The other shinigami on the field sweat dropped. They watched the two bicker.

The heated arguing between "Lord Strawberry" and "Lady Midget" was interrupted by the lighthearted laughter of the Thirteenth division's captain. He led the rest of the squad away, escorting the injured to the Fourth squads barracks. The shinigami followed reluctantly (who wouldn't want to see the outcome of the argument?) and left Ichigo and Rukia alone.

As soon as their argument was over (well, as close to over as it could be), they stopped and stared at each other.

"So…" Ichigo scratched the back of his head nervously. "How did your ball go?" He expected that Rukia had chosen the idiot noble that kept stalking her—the arrogant one with ridiculously colored hair. I mean, who wouldn't want someone that went wherever they went, right? He immediately felt a sudden dislike for the guy.

Rukia looked down at the ground. "It sucked."

"Oh."

_Oh??!!! Is that all he can say?! He has NO idea what kind of hell it was there for me._

"Why the hell weren't you there?! Geez, I had to rely on this jerk that left me standing alone on the roof to get me away from all those stupid stuck ups!! You have NO idea how bad it was for me." She glared at him.

"Um…sorry 'bout that…"

Ichigo caught his mistake. _Oh shit! Did I just freakin TELL her that it was me?_

"I mean—that I wasn't there, of course!" He grinned widely and scratched his head nervously. "I—I—I was busy! With, um, with—with my family! I mean hollows! I mean—I mean, um—hollows AND my family! I mean—I mean hollows that were ATTACKING my family!! He… he… yeah."

Rukia thought Ichigo had finally gone insane.

"Are you okay Ichigo? Is your hair color seeping into your brain and destroying it?" She gave him the you're-acting-weird-and insane-and-you'd-better-cut-it-out-look.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." He laughed nervously. Rukia could see through the act, but decided to let it slide. He realized what she said and glared at her. "Very funny, dwarf."

"Don't talk, carrot!"

"You're the one who needed help with Hollows!"

"You're the one who didn't see the Hollows coming behind him!"

"You didn't see the Hollow behind you either!"

"Well at least I could sense mine! You actually have to _concentrate_ to feel people's reiatsu!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Don't argue with me!" Rukia stomped on his foot.

"OW! Shit, Rukia, that hurt!"

"Your fault!"

"Che. Figures. My foot is the only part of me that you could reach from aaaaaaaaaaall the way down there." Ichigo pointed a finger at her forehead.

Smart move, Ichigo. Rukia kicked his shin.

"OW, RUKIA! It's called ANGER MANAGEMENT!"

"It's called brain management."

"What?! That doesn't even make sense!"

"I was talking about your head. You know, using it every once in a while." Rukia stuck her tongue out at him.

"How 'bout _using_ growth supplements?"

"Why you--!" Rukia balled up her fist and prepared to punch Ichigo, but instead tripped and ended up pushing him over instead and ended up falling next to him on her back.

(Yeah, sorry, they're not going to fall into each other and happen to kiss—the chances of their lips actually hitting their mark are very small, and that's without considering the height difference)

Now, if a passerby happened to notice the two laying in the grass looking at the sky, one might assume they were on a romantic sort of outing. That is, until—

"What the hell was that?"

"Shut up."

Ichigo and Rukia stared at each other.

Just like that—staring at the other's eyes. No smiles, no expressions.

Their faces were blank as they got closer…

_This seems really familiar…wait! The ball! This is just like what happened! No—wait! No way am I kissing this she devil! No—wait! How did kissing pop up in here! Shit, I'm a pervert now! Shitshitshit! Notlikedadnotlikedadnotlikedadnotlikedad—_

A clicking sound was heard from a bush and Rukia turned her head slowly, dreading what she would see.

"Oh, hell no."

"SHE FOUND US! TAKE PICTURES NOW BEFORE WE CAN'T ANYMORE! HURRY UP! OUR FUNDS DEPEND ON THE NEXT ISSUE! HURRY _UP_!"

B.U.S.T.E.D.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you guys so much for reviewing! It makes my day happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! (if i say that out loud it's really irritating, so i'm settling for typing it out. well, even that's irritating. forgive me. hehe.)

Okay, I know this is a really short chapter, but enjoy still!

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, I wouldn't be typing this out right now. (I don't own it. Just rub it in why dontcha?)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Kuchiki-san!! Would you care to comment on your secret relationship—"

"_WHAT?!"_

Rukia glared daggers at the shinigami until the poor woman ran away in fear.

"Kurosaki! How do you feel about Miss Rukia's relationship with the mysterious stranger at the ball? Why have you been keeping this a secret? Are you really together? If you aren't, I'm always availab—"

"LEAVE US ALONE! Ichigo, go home! Hurry!"

"Oh, so there's an 'US' now?!"

"THERE CERTAINLY IS NOT!" Hordes of shinigami swarmed around Ichigo and Rukia.

"RUKIA?! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT?!"

"IGNORE THEM!" Rukia yelled frantically.

"HURRY UP LADIES! WE NEED MORE GOSSI—I MEAN NEWS TO PUT INTO OUR NEXT ISSUE! WE NEED THOSE FUNDS—"

By now, Rukia was pissed off. A lot.

_Screw etiquette. _"Bakudo no ichi! SAI!" The woman fell to the ground. "I'M _PART_ OF THE SHINIGAMI WOMEN'S ASSOCIATION!!" Rukia screamed at her. She was trying to find Ichigo—

"No, no it's nothing like that!! WE'RE NOT TOGETHER!" Ichigo screamed to the shinigami crowding him.

Ichigo and Rukia both felt a small hint of sadness at those words.

"I SAID WE'RE NOT TOGETHER—MMFFFFMKLDMFS—"

Rukia's thoughts went something like, "SHE DID _NOT_ JUST GO THERE!!!" (But with more profanity, etc.) and then went on to…

_I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE JUST KISSED ICHIGO!!! BEFORE I DID!!!!!_ _Wait. What?!_

Yup, the reporter kissed Ichigo. Full on.

"AHHHH WHAT WAS THAT!!" Ichigo was in shock. (What else did you expect?)

The women gasped. "PUCKER UP LADIES!! I'M _SURE_ HE'S STILL A VIRGIN NOW!!"

There were squeals throughout the crowd as the higher ranking shinigami instructed the others to keep "interviewing" Rukia, only to turn around and crowd Ichigo.

_That's it. _Rukia pulled out Sode no Shirayuki and held it out. "LISTEN UP EVERYBODY! THIS IS HELL AND I WILL FREEZE IT ALL OVER ALONG WITH YOU UNLESS YOU GET AWAY FROM US IN 3 SECONDS!! ONE, TWO—"

"IT'S OKAY I HAVE THE PICTURES! I'LL RUN THEM OVER TO HEADQUARTERS R—"

The shinigami's eyes widened in fear as Rukia turned her deathly gaze upon her. She realized the impending threat (luckily for her) and shunpo-ed away.

Ichigo and Rukia looked at each other in panic. Their telepathy/thinking alike abilities/creepy synch told them to—what else—GET THOSE PICTURES.

They shunpo-ed at full speed after her. They were quickly gaining, and just as Ichigo was about to question Rukia about, specifically, _What the fuck just happened??!!_ Renji appeared in front of them and tripped Rukia. Accidentally. (Yeah, right.)

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH RENJI YOU IDIOT!!

"Rukia!?!"

Rukia crashed into a wall and Ichigo appeared near her (just a second too late—yeah Rukia's life sucks now) and knelt down to where she laid.

"YOU IDIOT GET THOSE PICTURES!!"

"WHAT, AND LEAVE YOU ALONE WITH THE PINEAPPLE THAT YOU TRIPPED ON?!"

"I DID NOT TRIP!! _HE _TRIPPED ME SO YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE—" Rukia paused and turned to Renji. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU TRIP ME?!"

"Sorry, sorry, it was an accident." Renji said nervously. "Uhhh…umm…yeah…oh! Do you need some help with that?"

"Help with what?" Rukia tried to get up and—"OW!" Rukia felt a surge of pain in her ankle. (Yup, _really_ sucks now.)

"That."


	7. Chapter 7

Okay, first off I'm really really really really really really really sorry for not updating. Life got hectic, school got hectic, I got hectic, all that good stuff. *sarcastic breath* *happy smile*

..But now I am back and not as busy and ready to continue my stories! :) I'm excited now that I actually have half a second to write now, and I hope to advance the plot a lot this summer.

Reviews make my day. :)

Disclaimer: Owning Bleach would make every day for the rest of the year. I don't think every day for the rest of the year is made for me (yet). Well, there's still hope, right? ...I don't own Bleach.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While Rukia busied herself with healing kidou, (_no way_ was she letting Renji do that,) Renji shunpoed off to the Women's Shinigami Association headquarters.

Why, you may ask?

He was reporting back to none other than 10th squad lieutenant, Matsumoto Rangiku.

"Matsumoto!"

"Renji?" Renji found lieutenant Matsumoto Rangiku very busy.

With a spa treatment, of course.

Renji sweatdropped. "Aren't you supposed to be editing tomorrow's magazine?"

Rangiku deadpanned.

Renji stared as she popped a cucumber into her mouth (_aren't those supposed to go on her cheeks or something?_), laid back, and closed her eyes. He tried again. "Don't you have paperwork to do?"

Rangiku deadpanned again. Renji thought she had forgotten what paperwork was entirely. "Yes."

Renji just stared at her. "Then why aren't you doing either?"

Stupid question, really.

"I'm busy."

Renji glared. "I slowed them down, but I accidentally tripped Rukia and hurt her ankle." Rangiku looked up at him. "So you owe me big for stopping them."

At this Rangiku smiled widely and jumped up.

_Thank god her…assets…can hold that towel up._

What she did next took Renji completely by surprise. She hugged him very….tightly. *ahem*

She then jumped off a very shocked Renji and gave an overdramatic thumbs-up sign with stars in her eyes. "Mission accomplished with no problems!!"

"Easy for you to say," he mumbled.

"Rukia-chan will be fine! She's very good with healing kidou, plus she has Ichigo with her!"

Renji crossed his arms and continued to grumble. "I stopped 'em for nothing! You're not even working on the issue!"

Rangiku stopped smiling and humming a tuneless happy tune, turned, and stared at him as if he had gone insane.

"Of course not. That's Nemu's job."

Renji was dumbfound. "Th-then why am I reporting to you?" He sweatdropped and lifted a finger to point at the woman before him.

"Because I have levrage with you." She smiled widely again, only this time, a tad more… suggestively.

Renji crossed his arms and looked away. Rangiku just giggled.

"So you're not actually the editor of this thing?"

"No, I work under Nemu-san's job because she's the Editor. I just edit the section on Ichigo—we came up with a format that completely revolves around Rukia-chan's romances." She wiggled her eyebrows _very_ suggestively. "It was Kusajishi fukutaichou's idea."

"So you DO have a section to edit!" He pointed a finger at her accusingly.

"No." She gave Renji a weird look. "It's finished. I have people to do it for me. For some reason, taichou didn't want to do it." She pouted and Renji sweatdropped.

…And sweatdropped some more.

"Anyway, my workers can finish it as soon as the picture that little Ichi and Rukia-chan are after comes in. Then we're all set!" She gave two thumbs up this time.

Renji started to stomp off, but was stopped suddenly when Rangiku leapt onto him and planted a kiss on him. A surprised Renji held her back. "DAMNIT RANGIKU I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT WITHOUT WARNING! YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK!"

"Awww Renji-kun! You're so unromantic!" She pouted, and Renji put a hand to his face, sighing in exasperation.

"Gahhh…just don't do it again," he said as he walked off, knowing full well that his request would go unobserved. "See you later."

"Bye Renji!"

_Gahh…overenthusiastic girlfriends._

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back by the 13th squad barracks, Ichigo and Rukia faced a very difficult decision.

"I'm telling you, we should go NOW and get that damn picture before it goes to print!"

"We won't make it in time! It's probably in print RIGHT NOW!"

Ichigo gave in. "Fine, but then what the hell is plan B?"

"I guess tomorrow morning, we'll just have to do our best to destroy copies of the magazine." Rukia sighed.

"Like that'll work."

Rukia glared at him. "For now, all we can do is to be sure to wake up early tomorrow morning to get all those _publications_." She pretty much spat the last word.

"Yeah…well, I don't really have a place to stay here. Think Byakuya'll consider letting me stay at his place with you?"

Both oblivious to the implications of the statement 'stay at _his_ place _with you_,' they continued talking.

"Not if you keep calling him that." Ichigo just smirked in satisfaction. "But it's okay, he's away on business right now for the noble clans, so it should be fine for you to stay in the mansion."

"Well, let's go then. I'll still have to find somewhere in the mansion itself to sleep."

Rukia stared at him as if he were wearing a shirt that said, "I'm yummy" with a big strawberry on it. "You wish! You can't have your own room because the maids will find you, idiot! You'll have to sleep in my room!" Then she grinned evilly. "You can sleep in my closet."

"Very funny. As if I could fit in a closet. Unlike you, I'm _normal_ sized." Rukia smacked him over the head, and while Ichigo cursed at her, Rukia's only statement was, "My closet's bigger than yours."

To Ichigo, it just sounded condescending.

_Stupid closets…Stupid Kuchiki midget…Stupid Byakuya girl clone…_

_Stupid Kuchiki princess shinigami girls…_

_----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Okay, I know this was mostly a transitional chapter, and yes, it's kind of slow (okay, really slow), but it's going to escalate in, well, quality. Hahaha Renji and Matsumoto...kind of oddish...

I really want to add in the more serious aspect of Bleach (although I do love the humor). You know, because I haven't tied it into the actual storyline of Bleach yet. *hint* I'm going to connect it to Aizen, so we'll find out exactly what the heck happened with the Winter War, and the power struggles post all that... all while making sure the humour and drama and stuff I already have going on here stays. *hint hint hint spoiler-ish maybe*

But then again, I'm still thinking about how it's going to go.

Oh, and there's one more thing I've already decided on--

... that you'll just have to wait *cough and review :)* to find out. I'm so sorry again for not updating!

I'm sticking with this story! Hope you guys will too. :)


	8. Chapter 8

Hello everybody! So, I think I've finally written a long-ish chapter for you guys. :) I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Whoever owns it does. I'm not whoever owns it. So there. *sniff*

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"_I_'ve heard that Kuchiki Byakuya-sama has been in a particularly foul mood lately."

"Oh I know! I'm just glad he's away now!"

Whispers filled the servants' quarters as gossip made its way through the Kuchiki household.

"Don't say that! Someone might hear you!"

"Just saying. _I'm_ the one who had to make his tea five times before he'd even touch it!"

"He made me change his sheets every hour yesterday until he left!"

"And the looks he gives me every time I bring him his food—like I hurt Rukia-sama!"

"_I _heard he asked someone to bring him alcohol!"

"_I've_ heard it wasn't just alcohol, it was _gin_."

Giggles echoed throughout the room as the gossipers struggled to keep their voices down.

"And no one knows _why_! That's the _best _part!"

"Do you think it's because of his koi?"

"_Well_, if you want _my_ opinion, _I _think he's heard one too many comments about his pink zanpakutou!"

Another woman suddenly stepped into the room and dramatically slammed her broom onto the floor. "It's 'cause of Rukia-san!" She brushed her hair out of her face with an air of superiority.

"Really?" Several maids perked up at this, even those who weren't the regular gossipers.

The woman wore a wide smile. "Too many suitors."

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since the ball, there have been offers from all over—and not _just_ the noble families, either!"

"Why is that bad?"

"He turned every single one of them down almost as soon as they walked into the room." More heads perked up. "But the elders were persistent in that they properly interview and test each one. And after he still rejected all of them, a lot of them came back."

There were snickers all around as the women thought of what might have been done to the suitors.

"And some wouldn't even leave in the first place! I _personally _saw Kuchiki Byakuya-sama _personally_ take them off the grounds."

"Has Rukia-sama commented on any of them?"

The servant found herself stumped, and her forehead creased in thought. Her face then suddenly lit up. "You'll have to read tomorrow's Shinigami Women's association newsletter to find out!" She sauntered off, confident that Nemu fukutaichou would be pleased with her efforts as part of the Association's marketing and undercover team.

"Speaking of Rukia-sama, where is she?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Sshhh! We _can't_ be seen!"

"Do you even know where we're going?"

"This is my home, Ichigo, so of course I know where my room is."

"Well I'm lost."

"That's 'cause you don't have any sense of direction. You're hiding your reiatsu right?"

"I'm trying!" Truthfully, he depended on Rukia's kidou spell to hide his reiatsu properly.

They continued to shunpo quickly through the maze of halls until they reached Rukia's room, without being caught, thanks to her.

"We're here." As Rukia cautiously opened the door to her bedroom, Ichigo wondered what he might find inside—Chappy posters? A girly bedspread? An archive of sketchbooks?

But no. What he saw when Rukia opened the door was a room that was so plain, it could've been Byakuya's. "_This _is _your_ room?" He asked incredulously.

"What's wrong with it?" Rukia challenged. The walls were completely white with no decorations whatsoever on them. A large, simple bed with simple white sheets sat in the corner of the room, and the closet on the opposite side. The room was rather large—"_especially for such a small person"_—and had a small window looking out over the Kuchikis' courtyard.

"W-well…it's just not really…_you_."

Rukia hmphed and looked down. "I don't want the Kuchiki's to think badly of me," she said sadly.

"They'd really try to look at your drawings?" Ichigo asked incredulously.

Rukia looked up and glared at him. "I wasn't talking about the drawings." Ichigo quickly realized his mistake.

"Uh-I-uh, well, I was…joking!" He tried to act as innocent as possible.

Rukia's expression told him that he was off the hook (for now). "I just don't want the elders to think…that I waste my time doing things I like."

"What do you mean?"

Rukia turned slightly, avoided his eyes, and crossed her arms, as if she was suddenly self conscious. "You haven't seen the way they look at me, Ichigo." Ichigo raised is eyebrows, and Rukia took a deep breath. "The only reason I live here is because of nii-sama. Almost none of the other Kuchiki leaders...want me here. They don't think I'm worthy of being called 'Kuchiki.'" She emitted a dark laugh. "I don't doubt that some would rejoice at the thought of me being thrown back into Rukongai."

Ichigo snorted. "Well, then they're the idiots. Besides, if those fuckers are part of the Kuchiki family, then they're the ones not worthy of being called the same name as you." For once, Ichigo managed to contain (some) of his anger.

Rukia looked up (_"Why is it always up??_) at Ichigo and gave a smile, unable to form words worthy of expressing her gratitude for a second. "Thank you…Ichigo," she said softly. Ichigo smiled (well, smirked) back.

*awkward moment ensues*

Rukia's face suddenly contorted into various expressions at once, most of them along the lines of fear, shock, stress, and fear, and—

"The maids are coming."

"Wh-what?" Ichigo broke out of his trance.

"Idiot, you didn't even sense them, did you?"

"Shut up! Just figure something out!"

"Oh, so _I_ have to figure everything out now?!"

"Well, yeah! You're the one who did the kidou crap on me, so—"

"Well, that _kidou_ is wearing off now, Ichigo, so forget about just hiding out in my closet until they go away!"

"Shit! What do we do then?"

"I don't know!"

"Well we have to think of something!"

"We?! You mean me?! And keep your voice down!"

"_You_ keep your voice down!"

Rukia sighed, exasperated. "I'm feeling weak from the kidou I've already used on you, but I can try one thing."

"Okay, okay just do it already!"

"Try to hide your reiatsu until I'm done so I use less energy, and get into the closet!"

"Wait, are you sure I'll be able to fi—"

"Just get in the closet, Ichigo!"

"Fine!" Ichigo went into her (very crowded) closet with some difficulty, and once he was in, Rukia slammed the closet shut, plunging him in darkness. "Fuck, Rukia!" came a muffled sound from the closet. "I can't see anything, and I'm friggin' squished!"

"Just be quiet and concentrate on hiding your reiatsu!"

Ichigo grumbled under his breath as he did his best this time.

_Almost there, Rukia. It's okay that this kidou is difficult and possibly beyond your abilities. It's okay that if you don't succeed, you'll possibly be accused of consorting with foul mouthed human boys. It's okay that Rangiku-san will give you tips on—_

"Argh, enough!" Rukia mumbled. She felt the maid coming closer. "Al…most…there…Hurry up now…"

Just as she finished casting the spell with her glowing hands (very triumphantly, she had to admit), she heard a knock on the door. She fumbled with her hair and knew that she was quite possibly sweaty and disgusting looking, but—

_To hell with that._

"Come in!" She said in the sweetest voice she could muster. The maid hesitantly opened the door, hoping that Rukia wasn't in as bad a mood as Byakuya, and was relieved to see Rukia's smiling carefree (_Yeah right_) face. She put down a bundle on the floor and gasped when she saw Rukia.

"Rukia-sama! Are you alright? You look so worn out!" The woman asked worriedly.

"Oh, I'm fine! I just came from training, but I'm fine!"

"B-but I thought I—"

"Well, thank you for coming by! I appreciate it!" Rukia said as she ushered the maid out the door. The confused, bumbling woman tried to get a word in (but failed). "Thank you, thank you, I appreciate you coming by!" Rukia repeated, panicked. "Thank you, come back soon!"

"Wh-huh? Wha--?" The maid was left standing in front of a closed door. "How odd," she thought.

On the other side of the door, Rukia leaned against the door and sank to the ground, exhausted. She took a moment to breathe, and remembered—

"Ichigo!" _He must be suffering in there._ She snickered. "You can come out now!"

The muffled reply from the closet was incomprehensible.

"What?" She slid the door open. Ichigo came tumbling out in a mess of Chappy merchandise.

"I _said_," Ichigo replied irritatedly, "that I _couldn't open _the friggin' door!"

"Whatever. Just get back inside. _Now._"

"What?! Are you craz—"

"Just get in! I put a kidou barrier around the closet so no one can detect you while you're in there! And by the way, the one I put on you before is almost gone, so _hurry. Up,_" she said menacingly.

"Oh-uh, okay." Ichigo paused. "Can we take out some of your stuff so I can actually sleep in there?"

Rukia wanted to protest, but refrained from doing so when she realized that it would be nearly impossible to stuff all of her things back in, plus Ichigo. "Fine, but hurry and get back in."

Ichigo did as he was told, pushing Rukia's things out as he did so. "Do I have to sleep on the floor?" He scowled.

"Shut up, I'll get you a mattress. I'll just—" For the millionth time that day, Rukia panicked. When Ichigo looked questioningly and alarmed at her sudden change in mood (knowing that it probably wasn't good) she said, "There are Shinigami Women's Association people near. On the grounds, right now."

Ichigo and Rukia, exasperated, scowled in unison. "So, what do we do?"

"Can I hide in there too?"

"Yeah, sure." Ichigo replied nonchalantly.

And so they sat on the floor of Rukia's closet in silence for a while. It wasn't an awkward sort of silence (because, of course, they had known each other long enough to accomplish this), just a comfortable sort of companionship.

"Are they gone yet?" Ichigo asked.

"No."

"Well how long do you think we'll have to wait? We need a good night's sleep so we can wake up early to stop them from passing out those damn things."

"I know, Ichigo, I don't need to be told." She grumbled.

"This floor is really hard."

"Mhmm, it's pretty uncomfortable."

"It's really dark in here too."

"Fine, I'll open the closet door and hope no one barges in. And if someone does barge in, it's your fault."

"Che, fine." Rukia raised her eyebrows at his sudden agreeability, but shrugged it off. She noticed the sun starting to set (it had been a long day, after all). "You know, the floor is _really_ hard in here."

"I know, strawberry," she said as she adjusted her position on the floor, obviously trying to get more comfortable. "Ow! Dammit!" she said she knocked her head rather hard on the wall. "Argh! And those damn '_reporters_' aren't leaving!"

"How long are we going to wait?"

"I don't know." At this, Rukia got up, went over to her bed, and hauled the mattress (surprisingly lightweight) over to the closet.

"Midget! What the hell are you doing with the mattress? It's supposed to go _on_ the bed. Well, only if you can reach it."

"Shut up, strawberry, and let me put this thing in the closet! I'm not waiting for hours on the closet floor! Besides, you were the one complaining about it."

"Gah. Fine! It probably won't even fit!" A couple minutes later, Rukia smirked triumphantly at the mattress the both of them now sat upon, which miraculously fit perfectly inside her closet. "Wow, your closet really is big, Rukia. Kuchikis sure are damn filthy rich."

"Chappy requires plenty of room, Ichigo."

"Che. Whatever."

"I've told you so before."

They waited and argued and sat and argued some more and talked normally and comfortably for a little while longer, while it seemed to Rukia that none of the women from the Association were going to leave anytime soon. They ate the food that the maid left for Rukia, and they talked about their battles against various hollows and opponents (avoiding, of course, the topic of the Winter War,) and their thoughts (alarmingly deep at times) about things from zanpakutou's to captains to strawberry ice cream. The sun had already set, and both of them were getting very tired, very quickly.

Rukia, after explaining heatedly to Ichigo that Kurotsuchi Mayuri was, specifically, a "lying, cheating, asshole bastard," she went over to her bed and hauled over three pillows and a blanket.

"What's that for?"

"I'm tired and cold and I want to lay down while we wait for them to go away."

"Fine, but I want a pillow."

"Why else would I bring all three pillows?" She threw one at him.

Ichigo mumbled something through the pillow, and laid down on the mattress, now comfortable.

Rukia did the same on the opposite end of the—

_Mattress. Not a bed. Not a bed. I'm not laying down on a bed with Rukia._

_This is not a bed. These are comfortable arrangements for me while we wait for everyone to go away. This is not a bed. This is merely for the sake of comfort. Only for that. Comfortable arrangements, Rukia. That's all it is._

And throughout that cold night, as they stared into the dim light of the closet they laid in, Ichigo and Rukia knew that the both of them should feel awkward being in such close proximity, but also knowing that this was not how they truly felt.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

..and there was the start of the long awaited awkward sappy ichiruki moment you've been waiting for...but it gets slightly sappier. (But ONLY SLIGHTLY--I'm not a huge fan of cheesy romantic sayings and lovey dovey stuff.)

Review please :)

Next chapter: What will the dead of night bring for Ichigo and Rukia? Hehehe. And what'll the morning be like?? :O :)


	9. Chapter 9

Hey! So I hope everyone is having a great summer..so here's the next chapter. It's a bit short, but I wasn't sure where else would be better to cut off.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach............................................. but you probably knew that already.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rukia, groggy, slowly opened her eyes. _Where am I? Oh, right, my closet. Shinigami Women's Association…magazine…ugh…can't think…Ichigo!_

She froze when her eyes seemed to adjust suddenly to the darkness in front of her…or rather, the brightness. Right in front of her face, less than a couple centimeters away, was a mop of orange hair.

_Why are we so frickin' close?! _Her question was answered when she shivered, and against her will, she snuggled closer to Ichigo.

*cue the aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwws*

Ichigo slowly opened his eyes. _Where is this? Rukia's closet…right. Shinigami Women's Association…magazine…gossip…Dammit….can't think…Rukia!_

Ichigo froze when he felt a rather tiny figure hugging his arm. _Wh-wh—what the hell is going on?! How did we get so close?!_ He shivered, and against his will, he brought the blanket up to cover the both of them. He felt her shiver against his arm and he moved her closer. _Shitshitshit what the fuck am I doing?! No—nothing is wrong with this. We're just cold. It's simple heat preservation or whatever it's called. Right._

Rukia felt something next to her move. _What is this?_ When she realized that what was moving was, in fact, Ichigo, she resisted the urge to jump up. _ICHIGO?! No. Nonono. It's just taking advantage of each other's body heat. It's a cold night. We just don't want to be cold. That's all it is._

_What happens now?_

_So now what do I do?!_

And so they lay there, wide awake in the middle of the night, waiting for an answer to come.

But none did.

And when morning eventually came, they were still at a loss for what to do. Their thinking time was cut short when soon after the sun appeared, a loud voice filled the room.

Let's just say that our two…friends were a bit…

"AHHH!"

"OW!! FUCK!!"

While Ichigo banged his head on the ceiling after getting up too quickly, Rukia tripped on the blanket and fell into the wall. It would have been quite comical, if not for the message being relayed.

"REQUESTING BACKUP FROM ALL SQUADS IMMEDIATELY!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! MENOS IN SEIREITEI!! URGENT!! I REPEAT: ALL SQUADS!!"

Their awkward night forgotten, they looked at each other once, nodded, and leapt out of Rukia's window.

"So where do we go?"

"I don't know. It wasn't specified in the message."

"Well, it said Seireitei."

"Seireitei is huge, Ichigo. You of all people should know that," she said bitterly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Just hurry up." Rukia shunpo-ed on.

_What the hell was that about?_

He caught up to her again and was about to question her once more when she stopped abruptly.

"Why did y—"

"Can't you feel them?"

"Feel wh—" Ichigo's eyes widened in understanding.

"This isn't normal. Once was abnormal enough, but twice in twenty four hours?"

"What do you think is happening?"

"I don't know, but we'd better help."

They shunpo-ed even faster toward their destination, but when they reached it, Ichigo and Rukia almost hoped they hadn't.

There were not only Menos blotting out almost every single building in Seireitei, but more than a few captains could be seen fighting Arrancar.

Specifically, Vasto Lorde turned Arrancar.

"What the fuck is going on?!"

Before Rukia could reply, Ukitake approached them, obviously worn out.

"Kurosaki-san! Rukia-san! Thank goodness you've come!"

"Ukitake-taichou! What is going on?" Rukia asked, very worriedly.

"We don't know yet. It started off with just a few weaker Hollow in the middle of Seireitei, but it escalated into this. It seems that the first group was a decoy or lure of some sort. Originally, the entire third division was called out, but when even more came, more squads were called. And when Arrancar started to appear, we called the entire force."

"Wow," Rukia breathed quietly. "Is this some sort of attack from someone—is it planned out?"

"It's still hard to say right now, but we need you two on the battlefield right now."

"Sure, Ukitake-san!" Rukia glared at Ichigo for the informality toward her superior, but let it go. "We'll just defeat all of them and find out what they're up to," he said, determined.

"Baka." Rukia hit his head. _Can't he show a little respect?!_

Ukitake sweatdropped. _Those two are…quite the odd couple._

"Let's go!"

"Bankai!"

"Mae, Sode no Shirayuki!"

Ichigo and Rukia leapt right into the fight. They focused mainly on taking down the Menos Grande, (the so-called foot soldiers,) and it was truly a sight to see for the other Shinigami. While Ichigo attacked with brute force, Rukia seemed to dance and strategize her way through the crowd. As one Hollow fell after another, onlookers were suddenly hopeful that the Gotei 13 might actually have a chance of winning this battle.

_When did they learn to fight like this?_ Ukitake took another moment to admire the two, then went back to the rest of his squad. _They can accomplish in minutes what an entire squad struggles to do in years. Truly—_

His train of thought was interrupted when he blocked an oncoming strike for his subordinate. _Very inconvenient._

"Getsuga Tenshou!"

"Hakuren!"

It seemed as though for every Hollow they defeated, another ten took its place, yet Ichigo and Rukia continued to fight relentlessly. _Just how many are there?_

Rukia was about to attack a Menos, but saw that it was about to use Cero. Her eyes found the target—a scared, injured shinigami from her own squad.

"Ichigo!!" She screamed, and pointed to the young man.

Ichigo followed her finger, and behind his Hollow mask, he nodded.

He went over as fast as he could over to the shinigami and blocked the Cero with Zangetsu. Rukia quickly disposed of the Menos. "Hey, you alright?" When all he got were wide, fear-filled eyes and a gaping mouth, he shook the guy. "Hey! Are you okay? Hello?"

"Uh—y—um—you—a—"

"It's alright, you're safe now," Rukia said tenderly._ When did she get there?_

Ichigo took off his Hollow mask, and the shinigami relaxed considerably.

"It's alright, I'll take care of your injuries. Ichigo, just go fight off any Hollows that come near. Got it?"

"Sure, midget."

She ignored the remark and concentrated on healing the wounds. _Wow, this is bad. Inoue would be much better at this._

"K-Kuchiki, right?"

Rukia smiled and nodded.

"W-will I be alright?" Rukia's smile faltered a bit at this, but managed to stay optimistic for his sake.

"Yes. As soon as I heal enough of it, I'll get you over to the fourth Squad."

"O-okay."

She took a moment to look over at Ichigo, who seemed to be holding his own against the neverending crowd of Menos. _Well, they're the weak ones, after all._ "Oi! Ichigo! Over here!"

Ichigo turned at the sound of her voice and saw that she was pointing at a Menos dangerously close to her. He shunpoed over and attacked the Menos from behind.

She turned her attention back to healing and saw that her patient had closed his eyes. "Hey! Hey! Stay with me! Hey!" she yelled at him.

"Y-yes. I-I'm still…here," he replied weakly.

_Dammit. _"Stay with me, okay? You'll be fine!"

And then, as if her prayers had been answered, she heard a certain voice come out of nowhere.

"Kuchiki-san!"

"Inoue! How did you get here?"

"Uraha—oh my!" she gasped upon seeing the wounded shinigami.

"Uh--oh, yes! Here, heal him, and I'll make sure no Hollows come near, okay?

"Yes, Kuchiki-san!" Orihime called on her shun shun rikka and started to heal him.

"Thank you so much for coming, Inoue." Rukia smiled.

Orihime replied in her typical bubbly voice, "Oh, yes! Ishida-san and Sado also came! Sado is further that way," she pointed toward the outskirts of the city. "And I think Ishida san is with Ichigo up there."

Rukia looked up, and sure enough, Ichigo and Ishida were competing over who could get the most Hollows. She smiled at the very typical situation.

Rukia leapt back to battle with Ichigo.

"Oi, midget."

"Hey, strawberry."

Neither bothered to argue about the nicknames.

"Let's go!"

They started fighting together again, strangely in synch, leaving Ishida all alone with Orihime.

"Stupid carrot-top shinigami," he huffed. "Orihime! I'm taking over for Kuchiki-san!"

Orihime just looked up and nodded, her usual smile on her face.

He destroyed another Menos with an arrow and saw that the sun was barely up over the horizon.

_This is going to be one long day._

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And there's Chapter 9!

I'll try to be consistent with my posts, and I really appreciate all the reviews! :)

Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

I'm so so sorry for not updating sooner--my exams were so hectic for summer school, and i just had my wisdom teeth out. I figured that since I'm bedridden right now with no painkillers, I'd write the chapter for you guys, also to take my mind off the pain...

Anyway, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Heck, if I did, I'd be able to afford better painkillers.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"That was," Ishida panted, "three hundred and ninety two!"

"Four hundred and eighty eight!" Ichigo smirked. "So much for those arrows, Quincy! They just don't make 'em like they used to?"

"At least unlike you, _I'm _capable of meticulously calculating my attacks, instead of flinging my reiatsu every which way," Ishida haughtily replied.

Ichigo scowled for a second before his facial expression changed to his signature smirk. "Excuses, excuses, Quincy!" The two shunpo-ed off.

But beneath the jokes and jabs and competition, there was desperation--though Ichigo and Ishida met up occasionally to casually insult each other and compare numbers, while Rukia purposely sighed dramatically when Ichigo proudly told her that he was winning, they were all clearly exhausted.

Orihime had managed to get over to the fourth division with Ishida's help, with Chad defending the area.

Though no one would admit it, reiatsu's were quickly dwindling. Everyone, that is, save for the Hollows. For it seemed that for every strike that Komamura inflicted on his opponent, it was his reiatsu that depleted, and for every hit that Soi Fon landed on the Hollow facing her, she took all the pain meant for her enemy. Captains Hitsugaya Toushirou, Kuchiki Byakuya, and Kyouraku Shunsui were facing similar problems.

There was, however, one more thing that the outrageously dressed (or undressed, in some cases*) Arrancar had in common.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ichigo!"

"Yeah?" Ichigo and Rukia found themselves back to back once again, parrying attacks left and right.

"We know what the Hollow want!" Rukia was breathing heavily.

"Well, what is it?"

"I overheard a fight between the captains and hollows! They're after _you_!" Rukia slashed another Menos.

"What the hell do they want me for?!"

"We don't know yet, but we're not backing down! Just stay away from them, ok--" Ichigo had already shunpoed away from right under her nose. It would be a definite understatement to say that Rukia was miffed. "ICHIGO! YOU'D BETTER NOT DIE OUT THERE OR I'LL BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE MYSELF JUST TO KILL YOU AGAIN, _STRAWBERRY!"_

The shinigami that heard her carefully ran away.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oi, Arrancar!" Ichigo yelled at Hitsugaya's opponent. "Whaddya want here?"

"Kurosak--" Hitsugaya (now in bankai) turned a surprised, yet irritated, glance at Ichigo.

"I asked what the hell you want here, you bas--"

"We're here for you, Kurosaki Ichigo," the arrancar replied in a deep voice. Out of almost all of the arrancar he had faced, this one had to be the most repulsive. While he was pretty sure it was male, Ichigo couldn't quite decide--the arrancar did have a male voice, but...

"Kurosaki! Get away!" Histugaya glared at Ichigo. "They're after you, so don't make it so easy for them to get what they want! Get aw--"

"I heard you, shorty!" (Hitsugaya visibly tensed.) "I just wanna know why the hell they want me!"

"I am not under orders to reveal that information to you as of now, _human_." The arrancar spat the word at Ichigo, obviously contemptuous.

"What will it take for you to leave?" Ichigo held Zangetsu up, ready to attack.

"You." The arrancar made no move to defend him(her?)self against Ichigo, but instead looked confused, as if questioning the sword pointing at him. "Very well." The arrancar relaxed and paused. At this, the other arrancar and hollows ceased to fight.

The shinigami, quincy, and humans stopped fighting as well, not quite sure of what was happening. Though the following gesture did not go unappreciated, it was met with much confusion. The arrancar and hollows abruptly ripped open garganta and disappeared behind them, leaving many without opponents.

The battlefield, suddenly quiet, lit by the morning sun, was filled with silent anxiety and questions. Some wondered if it was a trick and that the attack would continue soon, while others ignored the thoughts in the back of their minds and took the time to rest and heal at the fourth division.

Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia on the other hand, were looking for each other.

Rukia, being the better tracker, found Ichigo first. Their words of greeting:

"Ichigo, you idiot! I've been looking for you!"

"Oi, Rukia!"

"What happened?"

"Beats me."

Rukia furrowed her forehead in confusion. "No information at all? _Nothing?_"

"No, the arrancar facing off with Toushirou just sort of...well I dunno, really. It seemed like he surrendered, sort of..."

"What do you mean?"

"What it sounds like. Just stopped fighting, then everybody stopped fighting, then they went back to Hueco Mundo. That's it."

"You have to report this."

"Yeah, I guess, bu--"

"Oi, you two!" Renji ran up to them.

"Renji! Where were you?"

"Other side of Seireitei. Do you guys have any idea what happened? Crazy shit, man. I was fighting those Menos, and then they just left me there. Crazy shit!"

Ichigo and Rukia looked at each other once. "No idea what happened," Ichigo replied.

"We don't know, but I'm sure it'll get figured out soon," Rukia added.

Renji cast a suspicious glance at the pair. "Well, okay then...I'm just gonna go..." He couldn't help but feel as if he had intruded on something between them and was feeling just a little awkward.

"See ya, Renji." Ichigo waved him off.

"We'll let you know if we find out."

"Okay..." Renji shunpoed away.

Ichigo and Rukia waited a second until they were sure he was far enough away. "Why didn't we tell him again?"

"Didn't feel like it."

"Same," Ichigo agreed. "Too lazy."

As if on cue, they both yawned and suddenly the bags under their eyes felt 10 times heavier.

"I'm really tired, you know," Ichigo said, feeling another yawn coming on.

"Mmhmm..." Rukia felt too tired to form words anymore and remembered her unpleasant (_pleasant?_) night, as did Ichigo. Add their sleepless night/morning to their wounds, and the result was two very groggy, grouchy, scary looking shinigami.

When Ukitake approached them, he was barely recognizable to the two and immediately requested that they be taken to the fourth division.

And while at the fourth division, it was found that the pair suffered not from injuries or fighting, but from the lack of sleep.

This news was met by more than a few smiling Shinigami Women's Association reporters.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Okay, so when I say "outrageously dressed" arrancar, it sort of means outrageously _not_ dressed--if any of you have seen any of the arrancar outfits, you know what I'm talking about. (ahem, Charlotte Cuulhorn, anyone? I'm scarred for life. Thanks, Kubo. jk.)

I'm so sorry for not updating soon enough--I feel awful about it after promising to be consistent. (I really am trying!)

Sorry if this chapter seemed rushed, but I want to keep the story moving and just wanted to update as soon as I could. Now that school is over and everything, I hope that I won't skip out on you guys again!

Thank you so much for reading--I really appreciate it and I hope you're enjoying it!

Oh, and I noticed the SIXTY reviews! Thank you so much! ^_^

Thankyouthankyouthankyou!

I'm gonna go now because if I read that out loud, it seriously sounds like I'm on crack or something, so there's a chance I'm going insane. (JK!!)


	11. Chapter 11

I know I'm probably in for pitchforks and flamethrower-holders chasing me right now for not updating faster--but...my computer...

_...crashed. *CRINGE*_

But it's fixed now, and (drum roll please)

Here's Chapter 11!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach any more than I own a bright pink Ferrari. (I don't own a Ferrari, let alone a pink one.)

* * *

Cracking open an eye, Kurosaki Ichigo stared at a very white, very plain wall. _Where am I? What is--ugh. That's a ceiling, stupid. What's going on?_

He sat up, much to the chagrin of his body, still recovering from yesterday's battle.

As he rubbed his eyes, Ichigo's eyes adjusted to see Hanataro running past the room. "Hanataro! Oi! Hanataro!" He wasn't heard over the hustle and bustle outside. "OI!" When no response came, he grumbled and started to get out of bed slowly.

_Ugh, so tired..so much stress...so much to do...things to do? There was something, wasn't there? Homework? Nope, did that...ugh! _Ichigo rubbed his head in frustration. _I get the feeling I need to do something...am I late for somewhere? I didn't think there were any meetings...I guess I should ask Rukia...Rukia! MAGAZINE!!! SHIT._

Ichigo started to frantically (attempt to) move faster, but in his haste, knocked over a chair a fell on the floor quite unceremoniously.

Hearing the noise, Hanataro returned in a mess of breakfast trays and towels to find a disgruntled substitute shinigami sitting on the floor."Ichigo-san! What are you doing up? N-no! Don't do that! You're supposed to rest and eat!"

Ichigo ignored Hanatarou's protests and tried to get up off the floor. "Ah, sorry, but I really have to go. I'm supposed to--"

Ichigo stopped moving when he was interrupted by the sugary sweet voice of Unohana Retsu. "Kurosaki-san," she said smiling, "If you try to leave without eating, you will collapse, unconscious, and we will be forced to bring you back into this room, where we will have to supply your nutrition via syringe. I do not want my precious officers working harder than they already are. Please do not object." She gave him a knowing look, still smiling, though the aura in the room was much colder than the one her expression showed.

Ichigo, who was currently dumbfound, stayed silent.

"If you must speak with Kuchiki-san, I will allow her to eat her breakfast with you in here. However, if you attempt to leave, we will be forced to sedate you," Unohana contined, "So please do not leave the grounds without checking out with an officer first." She smiled.

"Ah...uh--okay, that'd be...um, great..." Ichigo barely managed to get out.

"I'll have Hanataro get her from the next room." With that, Unohana nodded at Hanataro, who immediately ran off. "I hope you are feeling better by the time you are done with your food, Kurosaki-san." She walked out, bringing (most) of the tension with her.

While he was alone, Ichigo took the time to sit back down on the small cot and look around the room. While it was no Kuchiki mansion, it was no hospital room either. Well, technically it was, but it was a suite compared to what some hospital rooms in the real world were like. There was a window on one wall, a couple of framed pictures on the white walls...the bed was comfortable enough...not too shabby at all. _Che. Way nicer than Ishida's dump of a hospital. _He smiled at the thought.

Then the door opened, Rukia came in with Hanataro, and Ichigo received a smack in the head.

"WHAT THE HELL, MIDGET?!"

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?!"

"Eh?"

"I've been waiting for you to wake up! It's almost NOON!" Rukia yelled hysterically.

In the background, Hanataro said, "B-but Rukia-san, you were only up for a couple minutes before Kurosaki-san..."

"SEE? I WOKE UP ONLY A COUPLE MINUTES AFTER YOU!" Ichigo argued back. (Hanatarou was otherwise ignored.)

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT! JUST HURRY UP AND EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!"

"Take your own advice, midget!"

At this, they both scarfed down their food, realizing just how hungry they were.

_Come to think of it, my last meal was at--_

_--Nii-sama's. Time sure passes by quickly when Hollows attack Sereitei..._

_I wonder how ol' Byakuya is doing..._

* * *

"Why are you here?" A very cold, calculating eye was carefully surveying the noble before him.

Hearing this, the young man's nose came slightly downward from its position high in the air. Despite the intimidation factor, he had come here personally and he had been on his best behaviour upon entering the room, had impeccable manners, and even brought a gift basket from one of the finest stores in Seireitei. He still managed, however, to insult Kuchiki Byakuya, the man for whom he had gone through all the trouble. (Though it was beyond him how he had done so.)

But now, it was time to redeem himself. "I suppose I should say why I'm here as quickly and concisely as possible for your benefit, Kuchiki-sama," he started.

Byakuya raised an eyebrow at this. _Perhaps this won't take as long as usual, then._

The noble took a deep breath before continuing. "For many millenia, the Kuchiki clan has been one that commands much public attention and military power. And if you don't mind my saying so, Kuchiki-sama, you have much to be proud of. As a member of the noble Kasumi-Ooji clan, I feel that it is my duty to ask this favor of you."

Byakuya inwardly cursed. _Spoke too soon._

_"..._The history of my clan is marked with occasional, but very successful battles, as well as its taste in everything from food to clothing...to brides." He smiled, and Byakuya sensed that he was thinking of something less than decent as he said it.

_Spoke _way _too soon. This may take a while._

For the next hour Byakuya perfected one of his already honed skills. The ability to--what was the expression?

_Tune people out._

* * *

"So..." Ichigo rubbed his head. "What now?"

"You're so dense, Ichigo," Rukia scoffed.

"_I'M _dense?!" _You're the one who couldn't even recognize me in a friggin tux!_

_"_Yes. The plan is simple, Ichigo." Rukia crossed her arms and looked at him expectantly. "First, we get out of here as quickly as possible. Secondly, go to the Shinigami Women's Association and destroy every single copy of the new issue save one. Thirdly, we look through the last undestroyed copy and track down the people who write the articles and takes the pictures. And last, threaten them so they'll stop doing this to me."

During her step-by-step explanation of the plan, Rukia managed to pull a sketchbook out of thin air and draw in bunnies with orange/black hair and shinigami robes and an overweight sword (this was carefully labeled). The sketches were complete with a drawing of the Shinigami Women's Association Headquarters as well as magazines in flames.

"One: fine, I get it and I guess I'll go along with it. Two: Zangetsu is _not_ overweight, he's just really strong. And three: your drawings still suck really bad."

Another smack in the face for Ichigo. "Any other comments, fruit head?!" Rukia towered ominously over him.

"You're a bitch," he muttered.

"What was that?" Rukia glared.

"Nothing. Let's go," Ichigo waved her off casually.

Rukia grumbled and led the way out to the hall, where she quickly found the way to the exit. What she found odd, however, was how everyone she and Ichigo passed immediately stopped talking and walked away as fast as possible. Even Ichigo noticed the glances they got, and that was without making eye contact with anyone.

"Uhh...Rukia? Does everyone here usually act this weird?" He leant down and whispered.

"Not usually. Maybe something is going on..." She whispered back. "I hope no one is seriously injured." Her forehead furrowed.

"Don't worry. Orihime was there, so no way is anyone not okay by now. Besides, these weirdos are probably just overtired."

Rukia chuckled. "Don't be so loud Ichigo. They'll hear you," she chided.

"Hypocrite."

"Bigger hypocrite."

"Even bigger hypocrite."

"Biggest hypocrite in all of Hueco Mundo, Soul Society, and the real world," Rukia argued back and smirked triumphantly.

"Biggest hypocrite in all of Hueco Mundo, Soul Society, the real world, Heaven and hell," Ichigo rebutted. "I win!" He put his hand on Rukia's head and messed up her hair. "Better luck next time, midget."

_What am I, a child? A pat on the head?!_

"Heaven and Hell don't even count, stupid! Hueco Mundo is pretty much Hell and Sould Society's Heaven!"

"Not! You call this dump _Heaven?!_ Sorry, but I've seen better."

"So what if it's not perfect?! I think it's pretty damn great!"

"Oh really?! Does that include all the evil guys and stupid nobles--"

"_Stupid nobles?!"_

"Yeah! Like those jerks at your stupid party! They were all over you, saying how they were the best at stuff and all this other crap and they had really weird hair and they thought they were so great when they were really just trash who wanted a friggin' piece of ass!" He spewed out without a single breath.

"Well so what if they were? There are good guys here too! We have the Gotei--" Rukia paused. "How did you know all that?"

"What?"

"About my party. All the people there."

Ichigo realized his mistake and paled. "Uh...well, I-I just...um, _assumed _that...uh...they'd be jerks..." He put up his hands defensively when Rukia glared at this. "N-not that _all_ nobles are stuck up like that...um, I had just...seen some others around before...uh, talking...and they didn't seem...nice...he he...he..." _Pleasedon'taskmorequestionspleasedon'taskmorequestionsplease--_

"Whatever, fruithead."

"Midget."

"Overgrown carrot."

"Undergrown kindergartener."

"Id--"

"AHEM!!" The fourth squad officer behind the desk in front of the two cleared his throat for the eleventh time. "Excuse me, but I would greatly appreciate your cooperation in keeping the noise level here _down_." He glared.

Ichigo and Rukia had apparently reached their destination. Unawares, of course.

"Geez, what's your problem? Who are you anyway, fu--"

Rukia kicked slapped her hand over Ichigo's mouth before he could finish. "We apologize. We would just like to be given permission to leave, and Unohana-taichou told us to check out with someone first."

"Of course that's why you're here. That's why anyone ever comes," the man huffed and signed their papers. "And by the way, I'm--"

Rukia quickly took the papers and started backing away with Ichigo "Thank you so much, third seat--um...third seat-san!" She smiled sweetly and the pair was soon out the door.

_She doesn't remember my name?!_

* * *

Out the front door to Fourth Division Headquarters may not have been the wisest course of action, however.

"IT'S THEM!!"

"CAMERAS OUT, LADIES!!"

"GO, GO, GO!! AS MUCH INFO AS POSSIBLE! REMEMBER, THERE'S A PRIIIIIZE!!"

"A GOOD PICTURE MAY GET YOU A PROMOTION, SO HURRYYYYYYYY!!!"

Squeals filled the air as the crowd of reporters ran/shunpo-ed over to Ichigo and Rukia, who just stared at each other in exasperation.

"Why the fuck does this keep happening, midget?! You're not even a real celebrity!"

Rukia glared at him. "Well, thanks, carrot. And change of plans. Just run--"

"--Like my frickin' life depends on it. Got it."

_"_It might, so hurry up, Ichigo!" Rukia yelled, who was already across a roof.

_No shit. These women might actually kill me. _The pair took one last glance at the crowd of paparazzi and fled for their lives.

* * *

..Seriously. Women can be brutal. Haha, especially when it comes to flinging ourselves at people like ditzes with plastic faces. (No, I don't really do that, but thanks for having faith in me anyway.)

lol

I'm so sorry it took me so long to update, but yeah, computer malfunction (ack) and lots of stress. blech.

Coming soon: Ichigo and Rukia are running for their lives once again, while some drama unfolds in both Seireitei and the real world.

Thank you so much for reading + reviewing! I really appreciate it! :)

PS. I noticed that there were some questions in the reviews, and rest assured, they shall be answered in the near future! :D


	12. Chapter 12

"…And so, Kuchiki Byakuya, I would appreciate your cooperation in giving me Kuchiki Rukia's hand in marriage," the young man finished haughtily.

_He forgot "-sama."  
_

"Before I agree to this proposed arrangement, I would like to inquire as to your relationship to Kuchiki Rukia." The boy's eyebrows went up in confusion. Byakuya saw the need for elaboration. "How did you meet?"

He smiled. "At your gathering, of course."

"And you talked?"

"Well, yes, of course!" he replied with a flourish. "She kept looking back at me over her shoulder the entire night, and I know she wasn't looking at anyone else because I dyed my hair blue to make myself noticeable." He smiled. "I know she's as smitten with me as I am with her."

"Do you not read the tabloids, Kasumi-Ooji?" Byakuya inquired coldly.

"Ahh, yes, yes, of course." He smiled even more widely, hiding his annoyance at the Kuchiki's obvious contempt toward him. "You are thinking of the mysterious rumored man in black seen on the roof of your mansion with Kuchiki Rukia?" His eyes held a glint of mischief.

Kuchiki Byakuya did not like mischief.

"I suppose I'd have to let the secret out sooner or later." He paused and gave a dramatic sigh, smilingly…almost sarcastically. "That man on the roof was me, Kuchiki Byakuya," he finished.

_That__lie__just__made__my__day.__No__reporting__back__to__the__clan__for__this__one._ Byakuya mentally smiled.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I am forced to decline your request," he said, quite satisfied.

The young man lost his composure at this. "B-but why?" He stuttered. "I'm of noble blood! I'm a perfect match! I-"

"I'm quite aware of your lineage," Byakuya interrupted. "I am also aware of the fact that the man seen on the roof of my mansion was not you. In fact, I saw you at my event on many occasions, and I'll tell you right now to ease the pain [insert mental snicker] of the matter that my sister was _not_ stealing glances at you out of interest, but out of something akin to abhorrence."

"B-b—" The noble stuttered further, dumbfound.

Byakuya picked up a small bell from the table beside his bed and rang it. Less than a second later, three seated fourth squad officers entered his room.

"Please see to it that this man is shown the way out of here."

The noble was immediately picked up by the arms and led out.

"Oh, and one more matter to attend to," Byakuya continued, and the party of four paused and turned back to him. "You should learn to address your elders properly. To you, I am Kuchiki Byakuya-_sama_," he finished happily. (Though to anyone else in the room, he could've been in mourning for all they knew.)

The officers led him out quickly and silently.

_At last, some peace._

He took a cookie from the gift basket beside him.

_Good taste._

He looked at the treat a bit further, seeing the plain round shape.

…_Though the design could be improved._

He thought of his Clyde the Cloud cookies he designed himself. _That__would__be__a__much__better__shape._


	13. Chapter 13

"I am begging you, Kusajishi-fukutaichou! Please!" The man looked up pitifully. "I'll give you candy for a month! PLEASE!" he yelled hysterically. (He had by now abandoned his position on the ground to caress—creepily—Yachiru's robes.)

"Ehhhh? But Byakuyishi promised to give me as many snacks as I wanted!" (She failed to mention that this was in exchange for her cooperation in keeping off of his property.) "So I don't need any candy. 'Sides, what's the problem anyway?" Yachiru stuffed her face with Dango, chocolates, and gummy candy.

"B-b-b-bu—"

"Ahhh, give it a rest already, wouldja? It's not that big of a deal, anyway!" Rangiku waved him off. "You didn't even talk to Kuchiki! You've got nothing to worry about!"

"B-but K-Kurosaki—"

"What, ya think he's gonna come castrate you or somethin'?" Rangiku giggled. (Yoruichi would say he wasn't man enough to do so.)

"Rangiku-san, as you are drunk at the moment, it may be best to not—" Nemu interrupted.

"Nah, nah, lighten up, 'kay? Geez! Everyone here is so uptight—"

"Please, Matsumoto-fukutaichou! Don't print it! Don't give my name, at least! Or my picture! Or any information about me at all! I'll buy you sake!"

She passed out.

"W-but-what—"

"Heehee, funny eyes-san! You were tooooo laaate!" Yachiru giggled, popping a mint.

The man just stared. _Are__these__really__our__vice-captains?_

"Shall I escort him out, Kusajishi-sama?" Nemu asked.

"Yeah, sure! Come again!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he wailed as he was escorted (forcefully thrown out) from the Shinigami Women's Association Headquarters.

When Nemu returned from her adventure (he had tried multiple times to escape her grip), Matsumoto stood up, dusted herself off, and asked, "Is he gone yet?"

"Hai, Matsumoto-san."

"Yare, yare. Gotta feel sorry for some of 'em." She yawned. "But it's not like Ichigo will actually come and kill 'em. 'Sides, they should be able to figure out Ichigo doesn't even read it, anyway."

The door opened, and none other than Ise Nanao stepped in. "Matsumoto-fukutaichou, I see another shinigami was escorted away in tears courtesy of yourself."

"Ahhhhhh, so harsh, Nanao-chan!" She pouted. "It's actually funny, you know."

"That's not the point, Rangiku!" Nanao admonished. "Three of the men you've put in the magazine as possible suitors for Rukia have all been traumatized in fear of being attacked by Kurosaki!"

"But they _are_ possible suitors…"

"That _isn't_the point! I can't even look at half the men on my squad without them screaming when I come up to them! They all think they'll be next to be written about!" she yelled, quite flustered.

"So? We write about them, make it seem like they came on to Rukia at Kuchiki-taichou's party for her! It's just a little embellished, that's all! Just for fun an—"

Nanao sighed in exasperation. "They all think Kurosaki is going to attack them, Matsumoto-fukutaichou."

"But he _won't_!" Rangiku laughed, swinging her arm around Nanao's shoulders. "He doesn't even _read_ it!"

"Are you drunk?"

"Maaaaaayyyybeeeee!" Rangiku giggled. She hiccupped.

"I can smell the alcohol on your breath!"

"Heehee!" Hiccup.

Yachiru gingerly put an entire piece of cake in her mouth.

"In any case, I hope this ends soon."

"Oh, it will! Kuchiki-taichou is giving us so much funding! We've never been richer!"

"Sometimes I've got to wonder what's running through that man's head," Nanao sighed.

"I don't! We've got all the money in the world to keep writing! 'Sides, it's only a matter of time before Ichigo beats up the masked guy from the party!" She giggled. "Then we'll probably lose the money… but maybe Yachiru-san can get some sake for me!"

Nanoa sighed, unhanded herself from Matsumoto, and walked out of the room. _I__just__don't__want__to__be__around__when__Kurosaki__finds__that__man__…__it__won't__be__pretty,__that's__for__sure._

"God dammit! Why are they still following us?"

Turn right.

"They're _shinigami_, Ichigo? Did you think that just because they're unbelievably thick and shallow that they'd quit so easily?"

Turn left. Left again.

"Che," Ichigo cursed.

"In any case, we've got to lose them before we go to the Women's Association headquarters. We can probably do that when we get closer to the gate over there," Rukia said, pointing ahead of her. "See the little alleyway? We can speed up when I count to three, then escape. Got it?"

"Sure, midget."

"'Kay, fruithead. One, two—"

"GO!"

"ICHIGO YOU BAKA, I SAID THREE!" Rukia yelled, shunpoing to catch up.

"WHATEVER, MIDGET! It's working, so it doesn't matter!" Ichigo called back.

"Where'd they go?"

"Wait, we LOST them?"

"NOOOOOOOooooooo!"

Out of breath, the two slumped to the ground and hid their reiatsu's in the alley.

"Oi, baka," Rukia gasped for air, "I said count to _three_." She gave Ichigo a weak punch to the arm.

"Big difference. It worked, anyway, so it's fine."

"Baka."

"Che."

They gasped for air, replenishing much-need oxygen.

"They gone yet?" Ichigo asked.

"I think so." Rukia leaned against the wall. "But let's wait to—"

Eyes widened in horror.

"Rukia? Oi! Rukia, what's wrong?"

Rukia just stared at the ground, mouth agape, eyes wide. She lifted a finger to point.

Ichigo followed her finger to what was sandwhiched between his feet and the ground.

What made Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia stop bickering for a full five minutes, you may ask?

Beneath Kurosaki's feet was none other than the latest edition of the Shinigami Women's Association magazine.

Why did they stare at it, dumbfounded, you may ask?

On the cover was none other than Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia smiling. In the same picture.

Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia did not smile in pictures together.

(Kurosaki Ichigo did not smile in pictures, period.)

What were the headlines, you may ask?

"RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES? WHO WILL KUCHIKI CHOOSE: MYSTERIOUS ASKED MAN OR ORANGE-HAIRED HUMAN?"

"THE SCANDALOUS LOVE AFFAIR WITH A HUMAN OR HOLLOW? JUICY DETAILS INSIDE!"

Oh, of course. Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia were holding their hands up in the shape of a heart, and the cover was completed by a jagged lightning bolt down the middle.

And last but not least—

"THE LATEST, EXCLUSIVE, UNEDITED PHOTOGRAPHS INSIDE!"

On that infamous day in Seireitei history, the Shinigami Women's Association sold over one million copies of their latest magazine for over $10 apiece.

The pictures, were, after all, quite priceless, let alone the expressions of our two heroes upon seeing them.


End file.
